Hi Nancy

quite right although it don't matter her achievements  - any proffered love treated with indifference or worse is a great moral failing.

When friends’ marriages have failed I have not taken sides. I think this is prudent politically ( the bastards sometimes re unite and you could be in trouble for bad mouthing the rehabilitated spouse) but also epistemologically correct. You can't really know it. Know it like a theoretical fly on the wall can you?

Had a client say to me her estranged husband hit her. I said let's go to the police. She said better not,  while he was fixing my tyre I kicked him in the head first. 

I liked the idea that someone could be so mad with someone that they would spontaneously kick them in the head.  Steady on you say a dreadful thing to do. Absolutely but then he had  a hard head and survived it and hit her which is also a dreadful criminal thing to do. But then in their estrangement he still comes around to fix a tyre for her. And interstingly he still does. I’ve warned her to kick him somewhere else if she wants to avoid murder charges next time. But thats poor advice I know. I haven't said anything to him. Usually I would say if you hit your wife I will go to the police. Strangely I have had a client abuse me for doing this. His argument being dont I know anything ? Am I not married myself? 

Don’t want to make a strong case really here nor defend the man nor view anyone as important only insofar as they serve another.

You make a strong point


> On 4 Jan 2020, at 4:38 am, Nancy Gish <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> Why does everyone think about the "muse" or what it meant to Eliot? Isn't the real revelation here what he said to her and what it meant to her?
> She was an accomplished woman, a theater teacher as well as performer. She came to love him and he treated her badly. I think it is time to consider her as a person.
> Nancy