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The epigraph to LA FIGLIA, “O quam te memorem virgo ...” literally translated to “O how shall I remember you virgin” proved prophetic vis-a-vis Emily Hale, in that she became for him an object of memory. 
In about an hour, I’ll be discussing this poem with my adult ed class, so a further observation.

It’s ok to pun on “memorem,” but the literal word is not “memory.”

"O quam te memorem  virgo. . . ." It comes from the first book of the Aeneid, where Aeneas's  mother Venus, disguised as a virgin huntress, meets him in the woods at  Carthage and speaks to him. Aeneas answers: "O-quam te memorem, virgo? namque  haud tibi voltus / mortalis, nec vox hominem sonat; o dea certe!" "By what  name should I address you, maiden; for your face is not mortal, nor has your  voice a human ring to it. Surely you are a goddess?". . 

Some see the poem as a meditation on Aeneas’ parting from Dido, but Gordon and others as his parting from Emily Hale.

Timothy Materer
English Department, University of Missouri
The James Merrill Listserv http://faculty.missouri.edu/materert/Merrill/list.html
--THIS FICTIVE SPACE WE HERE INHABIT IS / THE STOP TO TIME