Considering the circumstances, it's hardly a surprise that he may have had more than one reaction to the news of Vivian's death.  His initial reaction may have well been of tears and sorrow.  Later on, the guilt and memories kicking in, he may have acted a bit more cavalier, to friends and the world at large.
In a message dated 9/15/2006 4:25:56 P.M. Eastern Standard Time, [log in to unmask] writes:

Well it's no use pretending that Eliot was your average bear. What genius is or was? Diana

From:  cr mittal <[log in to unmask]>
Reply-To:  "T. S. Eliot Discussion forum." <[log in to unmask]>
To:  [log in to unmask]
Subject:  Re: Item from The Guardian
Date:  Fri, 15 Sep 2006 11:16:47 -0700

It's unfortunate that this blame game erupts,
like a volcano, every now and then. Well,
a nice thing about standards, it's said, is that
there are so many of them to choose from.
~ CR

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