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Since poetry puzzles are allowed on Mobirds, here's
one:

With legal killing license,
The Bond who cares not a rap
Turns bird habitation across the nation
Into barren tracts of "excrement".

And the nice Mobirds subscribers
Holding tight to each list rule
Just refuse to think he might be a fink
Making MO one big “underground receptacle for human
waste”.

And eschewing any action
That might work to save the birds
Choose to spend their time analyzing rhyme
And calling his critics "solid digestive by-products".

Now they may at last feel outrage,
And eject me from the list.
Tho’ it does surprise these sad old eyes
That at me, not Kit, they're "urinated".

For when someone’s a bird lover,
He can’t help but take their part.
And when people whine that he’s out of line,
He’ll ignore it like a "emission of digestive gas".

THE PUZZLE: If you can supply the vulgar expressions
that, when substituted for the terms in quotations,
serve to complete the rhymes, SHAME ON YOU! Subtract 5
points from your score for each expression you knew,
and if you said them out loud, go wash out your mouth.
If your score at this point is anything other than
minus 25, you are a liar and must change your score to
minus 50. If none of this strikes you as funny, you
are taking things way too seriously but probably won't
accept the 50 point penalty for doing so. And if you
have made it this far and still insist on considering
this to be a political rather than a humorous message,
then you can give yourself a score of 100 points after
reading Matthew 19:30.

Richard Call
Swansea, IL
[log in to unmask]

Then at least half of the listserve
Let out scandalized hoots and howls
Saying, “We do birds, nothing else but birds!”
Then went out to stress some owls.


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