Outstanding!! Thanks Bob

Lynn Miller
Lone Jack,MO
Jackson CO

--- Robert Fisher <[log in to unmask]> wrote:
> My daughter sent me the following, which I am
> posting because (1) chickens are birds; (2) they are
> found in Missouri and (3) it is early February, cold
> and drizzly and there is not much bird activity
> outside to report:
>
>
> >>QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road?
> >> >
> >> > -----------------------------------------------
>
> >> > GEORGE W. BUSH
> >> > I don't think I should have to answer that
> question.
> >> >
> >> > AL GORE
>
> >> > I invented the chicken. I invented the road.
> Therefore, the chicken
> >> > crossing the road represented the application
> of these two different functions of
> >> > government in a new, reinvented way designed to
> bring greater services to
> >> > the American people.
> >> >
> >> > RALPH NADER
>
> >> > The chicken's habitat on the original side of
> the road had been polluted
> >> > by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken
> did not reach the unspoiled
> >> > habitat on the other side of the road because
> it was crushed by the wheels
> >> > of a gas-guzzling SUV.
> >> >
> >> > PAT BUCHANAN
> >> > To steal a job from a decent, hard-working
> American.
> >> >
> >> > RUSH LIMBAUGH
>
> >> > I don't know why the chicken crossed the road,
> but I'll bet it was getting
> >> > a government grant to cross the road, and I'll
> bet someone out there is
> >> > already forming a support group to help
> chickens with crossing-the-road
> >> > syndrome. Can you believe this? How much more
> of this can real Americans
> >> > take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by
> their tax dollars, and when I
> >> > say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money,
> money the government took
> >> > from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
> >> >
> >> > MARTHA STEWART
>
> >> > No one called to warn me which way that chicken
> was going. I had a
> >> > standing order at the farmer's market to sell
> my eggs when the price dropped to a
> >> > certain level. No little bird gave me any
> insider information.
> >> >
> >> > JERRY FALWELL
>
> >> > Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious?
> Can't you people see the
> >> > plain truth in front of your face? The chicken
> was going to the "other
> >> > side. That's what they call it - the other
> side. Yes, my friends, that chicken
> >> > is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will
> become gay too. I say we
> >> > boycott all chickens until we sort out this
> abomination that the liberal media
> >> > whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases
> like "the other side."
> >> >
> >> > DR. SEUSS
>
> >> > Did the chicken cross the road?
> >> > Did he cross it with a toad?
> >> > Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
> >> > But why it crossed, I've not been told!
>
> >> > ERNEST HEMINGWAY
>
> >> > To die. In the rain. Alone.
> >> >
>
> >> > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.
>
> >> > I envision a world where all chickens will be
> free to cross roads without
> >> > having their motives called into question.
> >> >
>
> >> > GRANDPA
>
> >> > In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken
> crossed the road. Someone told us
> >> > that the chicken crossed the road, and that was
> good enough for us.
> >> >
>
> >> > BARBARA WALTERS
>
> >> > Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we
> will be listening to the
> >> > chicken tell, for the first time, the
> heart-warming story of how it had a serious
> >> > case of molting and went on to accomplish its
> life-long dream of crossing
> >> > the road.
> >> >
>
> >> > JOHN LENNON
>
> >> > Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in
> peace.
> >> >
>
> >> > ARISTOTLE
>
> >> > It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
> >> >
>
> >> > SADDAM HUSSEIN
>
> >> > This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we
> were quite justified in
> >> > dropping 50 tons of nerve gas down the throat
> of the imperialist infidel.
> >> >
> >> > VOLTAIRE
>
> >> > I may not agree with what the chicken did, but
> I will defend to the death
> >> > its right to do it.
> >> >
>
> >> > RONALD REAGAN
>
> >> > What chicken?
> >> >
>
> >> > CAPTAIN KIRK
>
> >> > To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
> >> >
>
> >> > SIGMUND FREUD
>
> >> > The fact that you are at all concerned that the
> chicken crossed the road
> >> > reveals your underlying s _ xual insecurity.
> >> >
>
> >> > BILL GATES
> >> > I have just released eChicken 2003, which will
> not only cross roads, but
> >> > will lay eggs, file your important documents,
> and balance your checkbook...
> >> > and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part
> of eChicken.
> >> >
> >> > ALBERT EINSTEIN
>
> >> > Did the chicken really cross the road or did
> the road move beneath the
> >> > chicken?
> >> >
>
> >> > BILL CLINTON
>
> >> > I did not cross the road with THAT chicken.
> What do you mean by chicken?
> >> > Could you define chicken please?
> >> >
> >> > THE BIBLE
>
> >> > And God came down from the heavens, and He said
> unto the chicken, Thou
> >> > shalt cross the road." And the chicken crossed
> the road, and there was much
> >> > rejoicing.
> >> >
> >> > COLONEL SANDERS
>
> >> > I missed one?
> >> >
>
> Bob Fisher
> Independence, Missouri
> [log in to unmask]
>
> __________________________________________________
> * Audubon Society of Missouri's *
> * Wild Bird Discussion Forum *
> *------------------------------------------------*
>
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