My daughter sent me the following, which I am posting because (1) chickens are birds; (2) they are found in Missouri and (3) it is early February, cold and drizzly and there is not much bird activity outside to report:


>>QUESTION: Why did the chicken cross the road?
>> >
>> > -----------------------------------------------

>> > GEORGE W. BUSH
>> > I don't think I should have to answer that question.
>> >
>> > AL GORE

>> > I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore, the chicken
>> > crossing the road represented the application of these two different functions of
>> > government in a new, reinvented way designed to bring greater services to
>> > the American people.
>> >
>> > RALPH NADER

>> > The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had been polluted
>> > by unchecked industrialist greed. The chicken did not reach the unspoiled
>> > habitat on the other side of the road because it was crushed by the wheels
>> > of a gas-guzzling SUV.
>> >
>> > PAT BUCHANAN
>> > To steal a job from a decent, hard-working American.
>> >
>> > RUSH LIMBAUGH

>> > I don't know why the chicken crossed the road, but I'll bet it was getting
>> > a government grant to cross the road, and I'll bet someone out there is
>> > already forming a support group to help chickens with crossing-the-road
>> > syndrome.  Can you believe this? How much more of this can real Americans
>> > take? Chickens crossing the road paid for by their tax dollars, and when I
>> > say tax dollars, I'm talking about your money, money the government took
>> > from you to build roads for chickens to cross.
>> >
>> > MARTHA STEWART

>> > No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going. I had a
>> > standing order at the farmer's market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a
>> > certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.
>> >
>> > JERRY FALWELL

>> > Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you people see the
>> > plain truth in front of your face? The chicken was going to the "other
>> > side. That's what they call it - the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken
>> > is  gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay too. I say we
>> > boycott all chickens until we sort out this abomination that the liberal media
>> > whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
>> >
>> > DR. SEUSS

>> > Did the chicken cross the road?
>> > Did he cross it with a toad?
>> > Yes! The chicken crossed the road,
>> > But why it crossed, I've not been told!

>> > ERNEST HEMINGWAY

>> > To die. In the rain. Alone.
>> >

>> > MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR.

>> > I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without
>> > having their motives called into question.
>> >

>> > GRANDPA

>> > In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Someone told us
>> > that the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.
>> >

>> > BARBARA WALTERS

>> > Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be listening to the
>> > chicken tell, for the first time, the heart-warming story of how it had a serious
>> > case of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream of crossing
>> > the road.
>> >

>> > JOHN LENNON

>> > Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
>> >

>> > ARISTOTLE

>> > It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.
>> >

>> > SADDAM HUSSEIN

>> > This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in
>> > dropping 50 tons of nerve gas down the throat of the imperialist infidel.
>> >
>> > VOLTAIRE

>> > I may not agree with what the chicken did, but I will defend to the death
>> > its right to do it.
>> >

>> > RONALD REAGAN

>> > What chicken?
>> >

>> > CAPTAIN KIRK

>> > To boldly go where no chicken has gone before.
>> >

>> > SIGMUND FREUD

>> > The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken crossed the road
>> > reveals your underlying s _ xual insecurity.
>> >

>> > BILL GATES
>> > I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only cross roads, but
>> > will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook...
>> > and Internet Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
>> >
>> > ALBERT EINSTEIN

>> > Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move beneath the
>> > chicken?
>> >

>> > BILL CLINTON

>> > I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you mean by chicken?
>> > Could you define chicken please?
>> >
>> > THE BIBLE

>> > And God came down from the heavens, and He said unto the chicken, Thou
>> > shalt  cross the road." And the chicken crossed the road, and there was much
>> > rejoicing.
>> >
>> > COLONEL SANDERS

>> > I missed one?
>> >

Bob Fisher
Independence, Missouri
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